I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
