My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
