I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
