...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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