Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
