BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
