gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
