they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
