Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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