They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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