The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
