Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
