i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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