even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
