dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
