The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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