I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
