At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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