Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
