I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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