Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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