I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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