Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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