I'm eating all of the evidence.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
