I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
