you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
