Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
