so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
