remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
