Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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