Just fell off a train. Bad.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
