No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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