If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
