she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i think my cat just said my name.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize