Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
