I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
