can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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