Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize