let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
