after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
the day after is always just damage control
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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