Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
then he tried to convert me to islam
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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