dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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