We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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