fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
