I showed him my bush... on skype.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
