I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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