i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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