ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
