I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
