gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
