I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize