Sry I called you an 8
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
