do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
