Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
