Three words: puerto rican gang bang
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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