Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
