Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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