I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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