i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
