Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
