But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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