Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
