its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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