Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
your room smells of hookers.
And success
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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