I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
