Duck Duck Cougar?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
