Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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