The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize