you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize