Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize