I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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