Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I believe in your delicious
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
