i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
