Barsexuality is the new black.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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