When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
