if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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